Play Nice

OH, it has been a while and just like so many other bloggers my good intentions to write regularly have went astray. Yet, I am still here and still have those same intentions, just a different direction. I am still learning about being in the moment, being aware and conscious and everyday learn something new about myself and how I react to my  environment.

Solitary time is very important to me and I feel I am at my best when I am alone. What does that say about me though, that I can't play nice with the other kids?? Well, sometimes that is true, others do sometimes rattle me and get on my nerves and I am AWARE that they do.I am attempting to figure out why and I ask myself, often, what is it about this situation or person that makes me react?

I have a great desire to be able to "let it go", and I have improved, yet have so far to go. I am learning about duality, allowing what is to be what is, accepting that there is no right or wrong view, mine or theirs, but rather there is just is. I find when I am alone, obviously, that I don't have to consider "this or that" because I am in that moment of allowing and enjoying the unfolding of events in that moment. Yes, I have come a long way, I have learned that it is not necessary to comment to another in the moment that I find annoying, (except family and I am working on that) and that it usually is not worth the effort of backlash.

What I am having difficulty with is how do I deal with the feelings of unfairness or wrong that takes place. Is "let it go" the right thing to do when I feel it is a disservice to others, is my opinion not valid? I am learning that the "truth" needs to be viewed objectively, not my truth or the person that I am in disagreement with but the actual truth. What are all of the facts? Do I have them all? Do I have the full story, the real story and not assumptions? Often we get so into our own head and the stories we tell that we loose sight of the truth. We tells ourselves that someone does not like us or that we are better then another and these things may become our new version of the truth.

The ability to objectively look at a situation is a skill that I am still developing and am all too aware that is not done well when I am by myself. To hone this ability I need to be among people and be diligent, persistent and patient and learn to be an aware participant AND spectator in each moment. I need to see the truth, even if it requires admitting that I may not be right. Learning to accept "what is" and becoming aware enough to witness the real truth in each situation is the playing nice that is required to allow a deeper enjoyment of the moment.

Balance vs Harmony

“I’m a great believer in harmony, but balance is bogus....... 

                       Balance in this world cannot be achieved, so get over it."

          ~ from Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray ~

I mention balance all the time , I love the idea of living a balanced life and the suggestion that it is unattainable, at first, was unacceptable. My picture of balance is not one where everything in life is equal but the weight of each part is balanced against its value or importance to the other aspects of life. If we break these areas of importance down, as James Arthur Ray does, into financial, relationships, mental, physical and spiritual we can gain perspective of how things really are.

Ray uses the example of a scales when it is in perfect balance, it is static, not moving or changing. If that is our life it becomes stagnant and that is not my vision of the meaning of  balance. Rather, we want continual motion for dynamic growth and vibrancy. Ray calls this harmony, all parts working together to create fluidity, working off of and for the energy of the five main areas of our life.

Osho, in comparison, suggests that we use the word balance wrong, instead of making it a noun we could be using it as a verb, making it a dynamic action. His example is that of a tight rope walker moving in and out of center to maintain balance, he is balancing, if he remains still or static he falls. When balance is achieved it is only for a split second and then the action of balancing must resume to achieve the goal of staying on the rope.

Yet another analogy is that of riding a bike, the bicycle is designed to be balanced while in  motion. If you stop moving forward you fall over unless you place your feet on the ground, then you become static and not moving. However, when you lift you feet and begin pedaling again you are balancing and going forward once more. Plus, you have the added bonus of being able to look behind and see how far you have  traveled and  how your balancing has moved you forward.

So, becoming balanced may be unattainable but it is also undesirable. 

Rather, we should be pursuing a life of harmony and of continual balancing to keep life growing and flowing.

 And, when you look back you will see that it all works together, the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the highs and lows and you will be able to appreciate the "harmony" and "balancing" that is required 

to discover your best life.

Life is like riding a bicycle, 

in order to keep your balance you have to keep moving!

Wake Up With Sun Salutations

Sun salutations give you a great all over body "pump-up'' and can be a complete practice in

and of itself. These 12 or so poses linked in a series can lengthen and strengthen, flex and

extend many of the main muscles of the body and get your blood flowing. 

There are many sun salutation variations, like this lunge salute that lengthens and

contracts the psoas muscle, our major hip flexor. The psoas connects in the groin at

 the lesser trochanter to all the lumbar vertebrae and up to T12, giving important

 flexion and length to the lower back.The lunge also stretches the musculature of the

 upper and inner thighs while also stimulating the stomach, spleen, and liver meridians.

      This can be the beginning of your practice or a full practice in and of itself. 

 And,  when performed consistantly, allows your practice  to become a

slow dance of conscious movement dedicated to energized presence.

Ingredients To A Balanced Life (part 2)

“The more I have observed human behavior, the more convinced I have become that the key to health is understanding each person’s individual needs, rather than following a set of predetermined rules. I saw plenty of evidence that having a happy relationship, a fulfilling career, an exercise routine and a spiritual practice are more important to health than a daily diet.”

                                               Joshua Rosenthal, from Integrative Nutrition

While we cannot deny that what we eat is important to the way we feel and the way we function from day to day, it is also important to recognize that other factors play an enormous role in our health as well. Our overall happiness and satisfaction is nourished by our physical, emotional and spiritual practices. We don’t just live well by eating right and exercising we also crave healthy relationships, achievements, romance, intimacy, creative expression, adventure, spiritual connections and fun. These energies feed us, give us purpose and meaning and offer a reason to live well, as Joshua Rosenthal calls them they are our primary foods.

“Primary food is more than what is on your plate. Healthy relationships, regular physical activity, fulfilling career and a spiritual practice can fill your soul and satisfy your hunger for life. When primary food is balanced and satiating, your life feeds you, making what you eat secondary.”

Rosenthal makes more suggestions on how to get the most nourishment from our primary sources, beginning with the company you keep. When you surround yourself with negative individuals, people who don’t share your vision or philosophies they drag you down. It is important to be around those who bring your energy up, inspire and encourage you.  We all tend to hang on to old relationships that no longer serve us, a high school friend, a former lover or co-worker who we feel an obligation to but who really doesn’t ”fit” into our current life.  Sometimes these old relationship alienate potential healthier, new relationships, therefore it is time to cut the cord. Rosenthal recommends looking at old friendships like    you do your wardrobe, clear it out as the seasons of your life change and discard what no longer serves you, sounds harsh but it makes sense. Is it time you for to shop for some new friends?

Another area of nourishment is how we spend our time, most of which is spent at work. Do you enjoy your work? Is it draining you? Stressing you? If you love your work you find it invigorating and it feeds your energy.  Obviously with today’s economy it isn’t realistic to imagine you can just quit your job and go find one that you love. So instead learn to love (or make the most of) the job you are in. I remember a woman that was a sign holder on a road construction crew that was doing work on a hi-way near where I live. All summer, a hot summer, she did nothing but hold that sign, talk into the walkie talkie and turn the sign, a boring job by anyone’s standard. She was enthralling to watch, she waved at each car, smiled, joked and made the day of the people in the cars waiting to pass the construction zone.  Before the end of the summer the drivers that used that route regularly were on a first name bases with the Sign Lady, they would bring her coffee if they were traveling in the morning or cool drinks in in the afternoon. She found a way to fall in love with her job, she was making a contribution. I will never forget her friendly face, if you can’t change your job find a way to make it the best it can be, sometimes that might be simply changing your way of thinking.

A spiritiul practice, yet another of our primary foods, is important to bring us in tune with ourself and the universe. No one is an island, we are all part of the bigger picture and when we have a spiritual connection, whether that is through prayer, meditation, nature or whatever, we have the ability to connect with others, our goals and our purpose. Our spiritual connection nourishes and allows us to grow in appreciation and understanding of the world. What are you doing to feed your spirit these days, meditating? journalling? visualization? Find something that you can make a daily practise and take the time to restore and nourish your soul.

Rosenthal's Intergrated Food Pyramid

Become aware of all the aspects of your day that nourish you, not just the food you eat but the "primary foods" as well. You are a unique human being and therfore the solution to you achieving optimal health is unique. Only you can calculate the correct measure of each ingredient, do you require more rest or more exercise, more solitude or more companionship discover what works and go and get it and learn to love yourself and be the best you can be.  

   By loving yourself completely you will reach a new height of health that no food could ever give you. And by expressing your authentic self, your life force will soar, your heart will open, and the world will never look  the same.

Ingredients to a Balanced Life (part 1)

To have a truly balanced life you need to incorporate the basic ingredients of body, mind and spirit. I know that seems rather like a cliche statement, the entire body, mind, spirit terminology has been sooo overused. I rather think of it as  intellectually, physically, spiritually and recreationally balanced. Move your body through strength work, cardiovascular training and stretching with exercises like yoga and find an eating program that works for you. Feed your intelligence through studying, reading and observation. Find something that nourishes your spirit, meditation, prayer, alone time, communing with nature or whatever allows you to connect with your higher self. Finally, remember to have fun, enjoy yourself and make your work your play and your play your work. All of the above are required to be fullfilled and "balanced" in your life.

"To keep the body in good health is a duty...

otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."

    ~Buddha~

I have always been active but not necessarily fit. Somewhere on my journey I realized I needed to move more, I had always dreamed of being really fit, lean and in great shape. Then one day I saw a talk show with a woman in a gold bikini, blond hair, fake tan and incredibly fit, she was forty years old and had a far better body then I. She was promoting her latest workout book and I decided I needed that book. I performed the recommended program faithfully and it was the beginning of my love affair with exercise. Over the years my routine has changed and manifested in all directions, I lift weights, I added running to my repertoire, I certified as a trainer and instructed for a while. I started a daily yoga practice, performed the P90X program for two and a half years, and now I swing!, kettle-bells that is.  I have been working out for years and when I get bored of the current program I add something new. I keep it fresh and, no matter what, I keep moving.

But , the bottom line is that it is important to find something you love, whether it is a sport, walking, running, weights, fitness videos or classes and, as Nike says, "Just Do It".

"To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art."
- La Rochefoucauld~

We have to eat to live, unfortunately a lot of people live to eat. I have always struggled with eating right, not that I ate bad, but I lacked consistency. In our house we have experimented with all types of  programs, ( I don't use the word diet as it implies weight loss plans) we have never used sugar and avoided white flour products. Due to allergies in the kids we have gone wheat free or dairy free for periods of time. We have bought organic when we could find economical source and desserts were made from scratch with whole ingredients. Coffee, soft drinks and candy have always been absent  at our from the house. We drink lots of water, from our own well. We don't go out to eat very often and for the most part we have eaten "clean" compared to the general population. However, we did consume a lot of beef and chicken, raised by ourselves on our farm. Today I am working on my consistency, I have a gluten intolerance and avoid most grains and  recently I have cut out meat. I eat lots of greens, rice, beans, veggies, fruit and drink carrot juice daily. Beef and chicken are still on the menu for the rest of the family but not as often as they used to be. I use supplements when I feel a need and generally try to keep my eating balanced and consistent.

“Most people would be much better off consuming less meat, milk, sugar, chemicalized, artificial junk food, alcohol, caffeine and tobacco and increasing their consumption of water, whole grains and vegetables, especially dark leafy greens.”

                                                                           ~Joshua Rosenthal~

Taking care of your physical self is only part of your whole health. As Joshua Rosenthal explains in his book Integrated Nutrition, "our bodies thrive on movement, and quickly degenerate without it". He also says what we eat is only our primary food . He has some really cool thoughts on integrated living. Read part two of this blog to see what else I have discovered as the Ingredients to a Balanced Life.

Life Is Like Coffee

In one of my favourite movies, The Peaceful Warrior, the character known as 

Socrates tells his protege Dan, "there is never nothing going on".

 Every moment of everyday holds something that we can observe, learn and find beauty.

Imagine you could fast forward right now and 

arrive at a place where all of your goals and 

dreams have been fulfilled, everything you 

have ever wanted is done, you're finished and 

you have arrived! You get to skip over of the
hard work, the messiness, the sad times and
the dealing with difficult people. But, you also miss 

the travel, the pursuit, the study and learning, the
amazing people, the celebrations and the fun
stuff that is part of "getting there".

Will it be worth it? Isn't "getting there" supposed to half of the fun (or all of the fun)?

                                                                        The best part of "getting there", includes all of the experiences encountered along the way. The full flavour and richness is not in the arrival but in the vessel which delivers us, that is LIFE. The relationships, good and bad, the highs and the lows, the successes and failures add texture and interest to the experience. Learning opportunities are present in every moment, it doesn't matter what form it comes in, an angry client, a friendly face, a news story or a cup of coffee. The quality is determined by our attitude toward the experience. If we tell ourselves that the coffee is good today, it might turn out to be the best cup we have ever had.

"Live simply.  Speak kindly.  Care deeply.  Love generously"

Finding Focus Through Meditation

I have been working towards a regular meditation practice for a couple of years. I began by listening to music with a positive subliminal message attached, this usually took place around midday and ended with me falling asleep. I believed that because it was subliminal and I could still hear it I was benefiting from resting and listening. Next I tried self trance/hypnoses recordings, I would be instructed to visualize! as the soothing voice lead me deeper and deeper and guided me.......usually to sleep! Perhaps lying down at noon wasn't the best practice for me. I then found guided meditation and this really helped me become more focused, I experienced some true insights.These guided meditations had a focus that kept my mind from wandering and me from dozing off. Sometimes my meditations lead to the past, or future, towards health and healing or even to problem resolution. I was really thrilled with the direction these recordings were taking me but I had not developed a consistant habit of using them and the benefits were intermittent at best. I wanted to become committed to the practice so I decided to make it a daily habit. Just as I consistently show up for my workout, yoga and personal hygiene habits every day I wanted show up to meditate. 

At first I would sit down to meditate AFTER my workout and that was pretty disastrous, I couldn't calm my mind, I just couldn't focus. I decided to try to implement my new habit first thing in the morning before my work out. Now, for me this was a tough thing to do for a couple of reasons, #1, this was the coveted spot for my workouts, I have been doing this for years. However, I reminded myself that my workout is a well established habit and I would make it happen no matter what! And, #2, I feared I would just fall back to sleep if I wasn't moving around. But I tried it and it worked for me, now everyday I get up at five a'clock, grab a drink of water and retreat to my "space", I put on some light music, (an instrumental called Weightless which is supposed to be the most relaxing song ever), I dim the lights and sometimes light a candle, I position myself comfortably with my legs crossed and I begin. I use different techniques to focus my mind, some I learned through practice some I created as I went along. I do whatever it takes to "tame the drunk monkeys" in my mind. The more I "practice" the easier and easier it is to stay focused. I can sit longer without feeling my back ache or my feet falling asleep. More and more often I am quick to slide into a light meditation and become unaware of my surroundings, things like the furnace blowing, the temperature in the room or the light coming through the window don't distract me. I arrive at a calm and focused place that is unparalleled to any other place I have been. Most days want to sit longer, I don't want it to end.

                                           I can completely relate to the Samurai in the video.

My meditation practice has improved my ability to focus. I find that I am able to stay on task and concentrate better and I have learned to focus on one thing at a time. Also, when I'm focused I find I can complete a job more efficiently and in half the time.  I remember to focus on the progress of the project not worry about the possibility of failure. I find it difficult to believe that such a simple practice, sitting down and meditating, can have such an enormous impact on a persons life.  Making meditation a daily habit has helped me become more focused and I can't wait to see
 where my practice takes me next.

"Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand.

The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus."

                                                                                  Alexander Graham Bell