Resistance

Have you ever had the brakes on your car seize up? If you continue to drive the engine has to work really hard against the resistance, the brakes grind, they smoke, it smells and you get no where fast. Not a good idea to keep driving against this resistance, but if the brakes let go (or when you get them fixed) its smooth sailing again. Your mechanic can explain what happened and why your brakes act like this, there is always a reason for resistance.

What do you resist, your work, honouring commitments, apologizing, exercising, eating right? 

All day long we dig our heels in and resist doing the things we know we could be doing, and then, to add   

                         insult to injury we reprimand ourselves for not doing these same thing. 

Why, why do we continually do that? It's a vicious cycle of resist, reprimand, regret, repeat!

That is why Steven Pressfield the author of  "The War of Art" calls resistance the enemy. He says that we resist taking action when we know we should for many reasons and most are based in fear.We fear being successful in our endeavors and having to change our current conditions, we fear making the wrong decision, we fear losing the attention we get from not doing, we fear no longer living the the tumultuous soap opera lifestyle we have created and we fear having to really look at ourselves and analyse what and who we have become, (scary).

So you would imagine that, as intelligent human beings, we would rise up and kick resistance in the ass and tell it to move over because we're coming through. Easier said then done because the enemy has its hooks in deep, we are comfortable, we are in a grove and in some perverse way we like it. Oh sure, on a subconscious level we are aware things could be better, we could be more creative, productive, effective, disciplined, healthier and enthusiastic about life, but what would we loose, how would we have to change, who would we have to alienate if we started acting without the fear?

The really interesting thing, however, is that when we push fear to the side and take that first step towards our goal or purpose the resistance begins to back down. I'm sure we can all think of an example, for instance sending out a resume, the hardest part is probably printing it out and actually dropping it in the mail box or delivering it in person. Once we have accomplished the task relief sets in and we think "that wasn't so bad". Or if we have a writing assignment due, the biggest challenge is sitting down, committing to doing it and writing down that first sentence.

                      Maybe it'll be crap but it kicks fear to the curb and gets us started.                                                                      

Think of someone you respect for the achievements they have made. Then imagine their process, do you honestly believe they got to where they are without some resistance?, not likely. It could have been self inflicted or external but they obviously took the steps to push through and achieve the task they set out to achieve. If they had continued to resist they would not be on your radar of respect.

Chronic patients- face fear everyday, fear of pain, fear of treatment failure, fear of death an they do it anyway. Performers, artists and writers face fear of of non-acceptance, criticism and /or failure but if they are following their passion they do it anyway. Parents fear not doing a good job and screwing up their kids, but have kids that turn out just fine (most of the time). We can come up with all kinds of reasons why we shouldn't do something and some will be legitimate, take fear out of the equation and check again, re-evaluate and take the pressure of the resistance off. 

Ask yourself what do I want to do? How can I get there? What small steps or changes have to happen? it doesn't have to be a radical thing, maybe start small, like buying a book on a subject you want to pursue or enrolling in a course. Face fear a little at a time and knock it down to a more manageable size, overcome resistance and before you know it you'll be ready let the brakes off completely and you'll coast all the way to your destination.

Make It or Take It

I have been asked many, many times over the years about how I make time to workout and stay so fit when I have a lot of other things going on as well. And, my answer has always been the same. I don't make time, we all work on the same 24 hour clock, I TAKE the time by making it
a priority. If it is important you will take the time to do what
it is you need to do and that may mean dropping something of lesser importance. For years I have been waking up long before the rest of the household to perform my most important task for the day and that is to work out. I usually have my cardio, weights, yoga and more recently 30 minutes of meditation done before the rest of the fam-jam are up and moving. Crazy, maybe, but I am taking the time, making it a priority and showing up because it is important to ME. I don't make excuses or complain, I just do it. It helps a lot that I also love, love, love doing these things and being up early, by myself in the quiet morning light. I get my best "stuff" done early in the morning. However, the point is I have found a method that works for me to get it done. I didn't create an extra two hours on the clock, I simply dip into the time that is already there and use it to my advantage.

                                       I TAKE IT.....


I may not have it completely figured out for all aspects of my day I still have those moments when I ask myself how will I find the time? Those moments are usually when I am faced with a task I'm really not that interested in doing, like dishes, uhg. Yet when I "just do it", as Nike says, I realize two things, 1) it's not that bad and 2) it doesn't take that long, I just had to take the time, file it and move on. If I don't get the dishes washed, no biggy, not a top priority for me, not to say your the same, but eh, I'll do them tomorrow. I guess the point is, what is it that gets you ramped up? What do you want to accomplish in a day? What is your top priority?. When you get that figured out put it at the top of your list and do it first, or make the appointment to do it, literally schedule it into your day and "TAKE" that time to get it done. Everything else becomes secondary to your #1.
                                                     
                                                                            That's how you take the time, 

                                 you aren't making more time, your claiming it as your own.

I have been a list maker for years and I tend to number the items on my list, I do the first thing first and so on. I focus on one thing at a time, I can't do yoga and think about my laundry or meditate and think about yoga, when I finish that item I move to the next. I place all my energy into the activity I am doing right now. If I make a list that is a bit over zealous and don't get it all done I put it on tomorrows list. If it becomes a top priority (because I have postponed it too long) it moves to the top of the list. It all gets done eventually but my fundamentals, my top priorities get accomplished without fail, because I TAKE the time to do them because they are at the top of my list, everyday!.

You're never going to make more time, ever.... So, set your priorities, rank them, schedule them and take the time because it is important to YOU. It doesn't matter what it is or who's watching just do it for yourself. You may be sorry it if you don't, but I can almost guarantee that you will never regret it when you TAKE  the time to make yourself your top priority.

Balanced Resolutions

It's a busy time of year, seasonal shopping, celebrations, lots of food and late nights. Routines are broken and priorities shifted. How do we get back on track after the glow fades away? Well ideally we don't let it get so out of control that we loose perspective and it won't be too hard to re-committ to our previous routines. Also, we can look at it as an opportunity to re-focus and move forward.

I like to compare times like this to working out. Sometimes we train and train and hit a plateu, take a break and come back with a new program, new perspective and stronger determination and we bust through those blocks and begin to make gains again. Well after working hard on our 2011 goals and making progress (even moderately) we can set our sights on a new beginning, 2012 look out here we come. But, there are a few tricks to setting resolutions and staying on track.

First, be realistic! If you have a goal get specific, what and more important WHY do we want to do or change that thing? We have to have the right mind set to be successful. Losing weight because we think we are supposed to look a certain way is not enough motivation for most people, but to lose weight to be healthier, live longer, feel better, have more energy AND look good (the way WE want to look) that is inspiring. Decide the best way to tackle your goals and be patient, baby steps usually are more effective then long strides. If you fall get up, dust off and resume, nothing is ever wasted or too late to correct. Take a healthy approach no matter what your goal and remember to stay in balance with your purpose and your beliefs. Set realistic goals and ones that are integrity with your vision, no one else knows YOU like you know you.



Second, take your time. if you have a few new habits you plan on tackling for the new year try introducing one at a time. On January 1st, a.k.a. keener day, we tend to jump on the resolution band wagon and burn ourselves out by January 15 (or sooner). Again, think balance, introduce one new habit at a time and allow it to marinate for a while, 4-6 weeks even, make it a real habit before add a new one. Start with the one thing that will make the most impact on your life now, in this moment. What is it? meditating, eating nutritiously, flossing?? it doesn't matter what it is just begin to practice it daily, consistently! When you feel you have mastered that habit introduce the next goal that will have the most impact on your life. Give yourself points for showing up each day and practice your new habit diligently, patiently, persistently and always playfully.

Third, be aware. Awareness is key, you can't make changes until you are aware that changes need to be made. When you catch yourself slipping back into old habits, check yourself, and correct it immediately. Don't be an "all or nothing" person, give yourself a +one for awareness and another +one for moving forward. Think about it, which do you really want, to step back into darkness or forward into the light? And, don't let the end destination loom large in the far off distance, enjoy the moment, the journey is meant to be the destination, a.k.a. LIFE.

                                    
                                                                Look not at  how for you have to go, 
                                                                                          but at how far you have come.



Finally, be gentle with yourself. Compare it to exfoliating your skin. If you are too rough and abrasive and remove too many layers at once you will be left raw and vulnerable, ooch. But, if you are gentle and patient, exposing the new and fresh layers bit by bit, the end result will be the glowing radiance of a new you.



Remember to keep your motives in the back of your mind, you should be doing this for you! if you think it is important you are more likely to incorporate it into your daily routine. You will begin to make it a priority and discover new ways to balance it with the other aspects of you life. I also really like the idea of "crowding" out the bad habits by filling the space with the good, whether that is nutritious food before junk, quality books vs romance novels or going for a walk instead of watching tv, and being creative and in integrity with ourselves.

My goal is to always be improving, moving up the ladder of self awareness, personal development and discovering balance in all the parts of my life that I find inspiring, fulfilling and worthy of the person I aim to be. I am a work in progress, and little by little the pieces of my life puzzle are coming together, but the cool part is the more I work on it the bigger my puzzle grows. I personally hope it never stops growing because I want to keep expanding and become the best that I can be and that is what it means to CYNERGIES your life.

What motivates you?

We have all had those days where where we feel that the world is against us and we want to give up, quit school, quit a job, quit a relationship or give up on a dream. Sometimes an incident or bad experience may make us feel like running from it because we can't see  past the obstacle in front of us. However, each obstacle creates a new opportunity and success comes from taking risks. When we look at a situation from a new perspective we often find as alternative staring us right in the face. Let's learn to respond rather than react. We want to live our lives on our own terms, so give yourself time and when a challenge arises ask yourself,  what am I willing to risk? The answer will be your motivation for success.

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"

                                                                          Albert Einstein

The majority of us will never know what true challenges are in life. We will never know hunger, poverty, disability or war. Yet, we can learn from those who have had such experiences. It can be a strong motivator for us to practice "being the best we can be", which is the ultimate goal in life. We can draw motivation from anywhere and everywhere, a story, a movie, an experience, an individual, an organization, a picture or from within. I have always considered myself a "self motivator" the
inspiration usually comes from elsewhere but the drive to succeed comes from inside. I think what motivates me and makes me strive for success is the belief that.....
      I will be better for having taken the risk.

Shhh, Turn Off The Noise

I love the quiet of the early morning, just before the sun comes up and the day starts buzzing. I do my best thinking at this time, I assemble my thoughts and prepare mentally for the day ahead. The best part is that everything in and outside the house is peaceful, the radio, the t.v., the computer, the phone, even the hum of the lights are silent. I have heard people complain that it can be too quiet, I believe that there is no such thing.

As a society we have lost the ability to be alone with our silence for fear of being lonely so we seek to be continually stimulated or entertained. There is so much we can learn about ourselves when we are quiet, reflective and peaceful. It opens the door for creativity as well as provide an opportunity for honest communication with ourselves. Plus, becoming still has the added benefits of stress reduction, improved focus and concentration. It's important to find a balance in our day and take a time-out occasionally to

 turn off the noise and be silent.

I wake early intentionally to be alone in the morning silence, usually before dawn, I love to see the first wisps of the sun on the horizon and be alone in those quiet moments. My thoughts are my own, clear, uninterrupted and focused which allows me to become more present and attuned when the noise gets turned back on.

Life is a Puzzle

Life is a puzzle, all of our experiences fit together to make each of us very unique individuals. Every choice, positive or negative, success or failure, each emotion and relationship, opportunities seized and lost make us who we are. We learn from each piece, gaining insight about ourselves. Some puzzles are very intricate with lots of twists and turns, others contain plenty of detail and are beautiful to look at, both can be intriguing. And, like every individual the assembly of a puzzle can be a  labour of love and well worth a conscience effort.


Unlike the mass production of commercial puzzles a life is one of a kind. No two are alike, if we were all the same the world would be a very boring place to live? The experiences, perspective and opinions that we each have make us unique but also is what makes us fit together. Everyone has something to contribute. Every experience has a purpose and often much time is spent looking for one particle piece to complete a puzzle only to find it was right in front of us all the time.

I'm beginning to look more closely at my own life puzzle, family, career,  relationships, choices, milestones and celebrations and trying to understand how they all fit together. Sometimes it brings up mixed emotions, heartbreak, sadness, happiness, humour, bad memories and fond memories but they all have worked together to make me who I am. If any one of those pieces had been situated differently, or not at all, I would be a different person. I like who I am and what I have become, I wouldn't change anything about me or the choices I have made. If just one experience had been different I may not have the husband or children I have, I may not have reached my health or fitness goals, the quality of life, the peace of mind or any of the amazing aspects of my life that I adore. In the moment we tend not to see the whole picture of how it will all fit together, however, there is a reason for everything and it is all part of the bigger "puzzle" of life. That's not to say we can't, at times, manipulate the pieces to achieve a desired outcome, we can and should. Life doesn't just happen it evolves and we can direct and shape the pieces to create it the way we want. Not everything can be controlled but with a conscience effort the bigger pieces of the puzzle can shape the beauty of the finished product.  

So rather than lamenting over past mistakes and my 'woulda, coulda, shoulda's, I am embracing my unique life. I consider my personal  experiences as learning opportunities, pearl's of wisdom which I can impart on others. Embrace and honour your experiences, one puzzle 

piece can not complete the entire picture and the puzzle is never complete (and don't be afraid to ask for help).

Every piece impacts the whole... 

Fresh Gravel

I live just off a highway on a dirt road. Last week the municipality did some work and laid down a bed of fresh gravel. This is good for the road but not so good for my car. But the great thing about the fresh gravel is that it has forced me to slow down, to give myself more time. Since the maintenance work has been completed I have noticed some thing’s I have apparently been missing while I was speeding to my next destination. For example there is a sumac bush just a little way from my home that is in full, vibrant fall colour, it's yellows, oranges and reds make it actually look like it is on fire. I swear I have never seen it before and it is beautiful.

How could I miss something so amazing?

Well, if I am honest, it's because I have been rushing to get as much done in as short a time as possible.  Checking off my "to do" list with my focus on "get it done" and not necessarily
being present as I do. I have recently started to take time to stop and admire the sumac, it reminds me that quality over quantity is my goal. A stunning display of nature is worth more then a forest of trees when we take a second to appreciate it. A sincere, heartfelt conversation is more valuable then hours of idle small talk when you pause to really connect and to listen.


I'm not sure when everything became so urgent or immediate.When I was a kid things seemed to move slower, we walked among the trees, we swam in the creeks and picked apples on the road sides. Adults spent more time at home and definitely less time on the phone. The pace of the world has increased but the consensus is that quality of life has not. Our perspective is off balance as Emmy Rossum sings we are "running in circles.... forgetting our purpose".
I yearn for those slower days and mourn for the things that I may have missed while I wasn't paying attention. I don't want to let life pass me by so I will make a conscious effort to balance not being too busy as to miss out on life with not being so slow as to no longer be current. 
     
I obviously need to accomplish certain tasks throughout my day but I am attempting to balance it with an appreciation for the day itself and the things that I am doing. Keeping my purpose in the back of my mind and still being present to enjoy a friend, a great view, a sumptuous flavour. Not losing myself in the busy-ness of activity is proving to take some effort but I keep replaying all of the cliches over in my head, smell the roses, embrace the moments, enjoy the journey. And, if all else fails, I'll pull onto a dirt road and find some fresh gravel.